Ask me what its like to have myself so figured out...

11 April 2007 @ 03:19 pm

ok so i jsut got another email from comcol abotu the ceremony before graduation and everything and i really cannot believe that i am GRADUATING from COLLEGE in less than a month and a half. this is crazy, absolutely insane. but exciting also. thank god i will have family and friends there with me so i dont die or have a heart attack or something. ohhh man.

on a less stressful note, my birthday is saturday and im having a party at my appartment :D soooo many people are coming, its gonan be amazinggg, i got a dress and everything, im so excited i cant wait!

mood::

anxious

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03 April 2007 @ 01:00 pm

(no subject)

sooo ive stopped using lj again, not on purpose i just forget about it soemtimes.. so yeah my life if pretty great. went to FL on spring break with kait, had a wonderful time, it was warm and beautiful and i want to move there instead of this shitty cold weather, met a boy names zach, hes pretty much perfect except for the fact that he lives in FL. oh well, maybe i can go visit him again soon..taht would be great, ohhh and my bday is next sat, im pumped, im having a party :D everyone should come its gonna be a blast, umm thats about it, i have a tonnn of work to do between now and then but ill make it through somehow, so yeah. spring better come soon.

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13 March 2007 @ 01:58 pm

(no subject)

sooo i went home yesturday do some grad school stuff, visited with the fam a little, saw erin for like .2 secs, and hung out with kell for a bit...it was cool but i wish i wasnt so rushed at home and i reallyyyyy wish i didnt have a soc midterm on weds :( booooo. but on a happy note, springbreak in 4 days and FL is in 5 :D ! im pretty pumped for warm weather and beachhhhh but im also a little sad i wont get to see anyone at home while on break oh well i will be tehre for the last weekend bit at least....soooo yeah school :P i have senioritis, i dont want to do shit. yup thats my life.

mood::

restless

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04 March 2007 @ 11:28 pm

(no subject)

soooo i hung out with erin and caroline last night... it was funn! sometimes you forget how much you miss someone until you actually hang out with them (yes i am cheesy i am aware)there are a few good things about sprignfield lol. but yeah we went to ABC and it was cool and chill and the drinks were excellent, then we went to a random party which was kinda lame but we met a few cool people...umm then erin went home and i went to my appt. but yeah it was good times :D <3

on another wonderful note i am going ot florida for spring break with kait! its official and we have the plane tix and the hotel, only thing is i have to go to boston tomorrow to finalize the tix but oh well i will manage. soo yeah that is awesome im so excited for my first real vaca!!

umm life has been pretty dec lately, not working too much next week, schools not horrible and yeah ......thats about it.

mood::

excited

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14 February 2007 @ 12:52 pm

(no subject)

sooo its v-day. woohooo. but its also a snow day so i guess thats pretty great...umm so i found out today that i have to go to the Lesley U. info session and it was supposed to be today butttt the snow so its rescheduled. thank god because i didnt know about ita nd its required haha i need to get on top of things. i also have to take the miller annalogy test, who the hell knows what thats all about hah. whatev. soo yeah snow day. i wanna go sledding! and i NEED to go grocery shopping soo i hope the roads arent too bad later on. so yeah thats life! its alright im getting a hair cut tomorrow :D then its carries 21st soo that will be cool. oh and im not so emo anymore mainly because my friends are amazing <33 and im not stressing about the boy thing anymore...well just see how it goes..

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12 February 2007 @ 09:55 pm

Warning.....Novel ahead...................

i feel sooo hopeless lately. and then i feel like a fool because of it. being depressed sucks, im never depressed. i know im only 21 but i feel like im soo old sometimes. first of all i dont think i can handle graduating from college, its exciting but it just kinda sucks a lot because i dont really know exactly what i want to do with my life and i feel like i have to make all of these decisions right now and im pretty damn scared im gonna fuck it up. ugh. im also pretty damn sad because of matt and him liking someone else. i like him too much, i tried not to but i cant help it and i always feel like why would someone like me when they are soo amazing and could have anyone... i need to stop feeling that way because it just ends with me giving up way to quickly. i think i need to really talk to him and tell him how i feel but i cant knock this feeling that why would he want to be with me....UGH i hate it because i know im a goood person and its not like i have bad self esteem or something, but for some reason i dont ever think that anyone would ever want to be with me, prob because no one really does and/or they fuck it up or screw me over. i have soo many amazing friends and its not like i dont believe them when they tell me im great, i seriously know that. but for some reason i just cant completly believe that someone i like might also see that.. its soo frustrating and i feel like people think im fishing for compliments when im venting about this but its really just the truth and i dont know how to shake it. UGH. oh and this doesnt even need to be said because EVERYONE knows it. but rob sucks, his sister told me he doesnt live at home anymore and i have no clue where the fuck he is. i should have seen this coming obvi. oh well. least of my problems right now. i need to get my head clear/straightened out....this is helping, i think i need to write in this thing more often because someitmes just typing/rambling is really good for my mood :) so are good friends <33 i guess i should probly go do some homework sooooonnn.. hmm maybe not, oh and if anyone reads this im appoligizing in advance for the upcomming emo entries, its just nice to get things out without bugging the crap outta people.

ps...who wants to hang out/possibly get very drunk on v-day?? i need to do sometihng ot make me not feel sad and lonely.

mood::

ehhhh

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11 February 2007 @ 10:54 pm

(no subject)

I feel like shit right now. i cant stop crying. maybe im just dramatic. what the hell is sooo wrong with me?? fuck.

mood::

crushed

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10 February 2007 @ 09:54 pm

(no subject)

I'm a bombass hairdresser ! Kaits just bomb. Ritas pretty dece too. Yeeeah bitch.

Im listening to:: the pack

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19 January 2007 @ 10:51 pm

(no subject)

wellll im wicked bored soo i guess ill update this thing, so i got picked to be on the jury when i went on thurday. im kinda pissed because its pretty boring and i have to wake up sooo early. but whatever, i think i get paid for it so thats cool. ummm lets see i got a mouse! well its kaits too but its currently residing in my home lol, hes soo cute, his name is Louie and he is tiny and dark gray and awesome! yeahh. i kinda wanna be back at school, or really just back at my appartment. i also miss matt. alot. it sucks, i wish he lived closer. come to think of it i miss a lot of people from umass :( oh well ill be back soon! so thats about it, my life hasnt been to exciting lately but i have been busy. i wish i had something better to write. oh rob and I are talking again. im not sure if were friends, i mean he prob thinks we are but im really not sure because he did ALOT of shitty things and i can forgive but i cant forget. so yeah hes been calling me multiple times a day lately which is ok because he entertains me with his crazy stories and such. so yeah whatevssss. im supposed to be going to hang out with erin soon, but well see how that goes. umm yeah im pumped i get to sleep in tomo for the first time in a while :D ! im gona sleep soooo long haha. ok bye.

mood::

exhausted

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11 January 2007 @ 09:25 pm

(no subject)

sooo life is semi-good, semi-lame lately...i think the semi lame just has mainly to do with my overall mood which hasnt been too great. but yeah i think im going out to the salty dog tonight with jay and whoever else decides to come. yeah blahhhh. i dunno, lately i just feel like i treat people better than they treat me lately and that sucks, (not anyone in particular jsut in general) but maybe its jsut me. either way, whatever. im done worrying/getting upset about stupid shit.

sooo yeah im pretty pumped for my visit to boston this weekend. i will be able to get away from this area for a while because i already feel like ive been home for too long. +++ i get to see awesome people that i havent seen a while! soooo yeah i hope everyone has a good weekend. and im out!

mood::

iffy

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08 January 2007 @ 12:03 am

pointless

sooo im bored and doing stupid grad school stuff. blahhh. i want to do something fun and exciting soon! well other than boston because thats obvi gonna be great. i dunnooo i feel the need for some sort of change, maybe im just getting antsy. ahh. well ill prob just dye my hair or something hahaha. i have to work 6-12 mon and tues. LAME, i guess its my fault tho cuz i switched with dani so i could have sat off. yup. im tired, i should prob go to bed but instead i am doing useless stuff likemyspace. i cant wait to go back to school so i can go to the gym for free! wow i am all over the place. oh well. im content with most of life and such. so yeah i guess ill sleep<3

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04 January 2007 @ 12:41 pm

(no subject)

sooo i got my grades....and....i made deans list! yayyy. first time everr. well i would have made it last winter if i didnt have mono, but yeah im pretty damn happy. all A's other than Educational Psych, which im wicked happy i got a b+ in. yesssss. hahaha. im a dorkkkk :D

so breaks going decent i suppose, lots of S&S and friends and stuff. i am hopefully going to boston next weekend to visit kait and rita, i bbetter not have to work ill kill someone, then call out hahaha. sooo yeah i got a hair cut and its wicked short but awesome, only sad thing is i cant really put it up, well i can but its tiny hahhaa. whatev, thats about it & im so happy!

mood::

happy

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31 December 2006 @ 06:36 pm

(no subject)

sooo its 2007 already. well almost. i cant beliveit,where did this year go?? whatev, party tonight at my appartment, im pretty excited! :) lots of aweswome people are supposedly coming, and im decorating and making punch/food ect. sooooo yeah awesome! no work until weds too, which im pretty pumped about. soo life is good. i hope matt comes tonihgt and doesnt be awkward, that would be nice. hahah wishfull thinking. thats about it. nothing exciting going on in my life unfortunately, which would be why i dont really write in this thing often but yeah life is good and i love being on break and being homee<33

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26 December 2006 @ 11:55 am

i want snowww.

soo yeah life is crazy so i do not ever update this thing lol. i cant belive Christmas has already come and gone, its kinda out of control how fast time passes lately...anyways, im on my new laptop :) its a dell and its pretty awesome. i love that i dont have to do any school work for a month+ its sooooo awesome, but i already miss my roomie and umass/S&S hadley people, oh well it wont be that long.

new years ever soon! im excited for the party, hopefully lots of people come because im gonna decorate and make food and all that fun crap. gaghaha im a dorkkk. oh well. soo yeah everyone better come!!

anyways, thats it. my break will consist of workworkwork & friends, and a little fam thrown in....but it should be gooood...sooo i ramble alot and i prob wont write in this again all break. hhaaha.

mood::

good

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03 November 2006 @ 03:44 pm

Just think about this...

"Do we, as humans, having an ability to reason and to communicate abstract ideas verbally andin writing, and to form eithical and moral judgments using the accumulated knowledge of the ages, have the right to take the lives of other sentient organisms, particularly when we are not forced to do so by hunger or dietary need, but rather do so for the somewhat frivolous reason that we like the taste of meat?"

mood::

irate

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24 October 2006 @ 11:22 pm

I think too much..

soooo life has been crazy lately, up and down and up and downnnn. it kinda sucks but i guess its jsut growing up. i have a lot of stuff to think about lately, like if/where/for what I want to go to grad school....UGH. i really think i would love to go for interior design, buttt i dont knwo if i can even get in anywere because I didnt major in art, or who knows I may stick with psych ahhhh i dunnooo.

on a goodnote, this weekend is gonna be amazing! friday is a Space Captain show in noho with jay and its kinda a show/costume party and im pretty excited because my costume is comming out awesome :D and yeah then my party is obviously saturday, im pretty excited, almost everyone that i wanted to come is comming which is awesome!! im gonna decorate and make cupcakes and yeahhh its gonna be a fun time. IF i get through the rest of the week.....

sooo yeah, such is life. that is the motto ive been going for, im just gonna live and figure things out when i get there. blahhh. thinking sucks.

mood::

ehhhh

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18 October 2006 @ 11:37 pm

halloweennnn

soooo life is good lately, i wish i could hang out with my friends more often but when i do its amazing....umm school had been HELL but im hopeing that the rest of the week will be somewhat relaxing.......we shall see.

oh and im sure everyone already knows but im having a HALLOWEEN PARTY :D !! im excited, ive been in the process of making a costume for some time haha, its gonna be great!!

i jsut hope everyone come and its funnn which it should def beee

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09 October 2006 @ 11:55 pm

Did I remember to stay up late, drinkin for the fun, singin for the taste...

soooo ive decided that i just dont like school at all anymore. too much damn work!!! thank god this is the last year and soon i can do something that i acutally like. eventho i have no clue what that really is yet LOL.

but on a good note i had a pretty awesome weekend... friday i hung out with dani and zack and lots of random people in central. it was fun, sometimes i forget how much i miss her. oh and i have never been in the presence of so many people from otehr countries. i swear there wre like 10 english people and a few irish. it was insane. i had a nice convo with an english girl about getting rid of the drinking age in the US. it was cool. i like getting outside perspective......

then saturday was absolutely insane, soo it started off with going to bretts bands show in agawam with kait, rita, megan and gina. soooo we got there at like 7 and we thought we were on time and stuff cuz thats when brett told kait to show up. BUTTT apparently the show started at 4 HAH. sooooo then we went on a hunt for a chineese restaurant, which ended up in E. longmeadow of all places, THEN we had this great idea to go to CT to get everclear cuz its illegal in MA.....................BUT liquor stores in CT close at 9, even on saturday LAME. so we ended up getting a hell of a lot of other alcohol & drinking a whole lot and having a lot of ramdom escapades............

pretty much the best parts were......everyone being really sketched out when i was explaining how to do a pepermint patty shot THEN loving it hah.....getting HENNESSY...........going to visit my love matt from stop and shop at 2am :D ...............umm and everything else basically! hahah i forgot how much fun it is to get drunk and go running around campus hahahah.

sunday was pretty awesome too seeing as i was sitting in my apptment getting ready to go to bed and erin calls me and her and nikki and ep are up visiting jens soo i dragged myself outta the house and went and hung out with them and met a few very annoying kids, but also a few really cool ones too.............

i feel like i could write forever about this one weekend because there was just so much awesomeness in it....but im lazy nowa nd ive written a lot hahha i dont think ieve written this much in here in a longggg time.

maybe its because im trying to procrastinate from studying hahaha. who knows.

mood::

satisfied

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29 September 2006 @ 11:14 pm

:D

today was hug a veggi day :D yayyy hahahah

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16 September 2006 @ 02:28 am

UGHHHHHHH

sooo rob imed me today and acted like he wanted everything to be ok with us anddd yeah. i dont even know what to do, everyone is throwing it in my face that i cant be friends with him agian because the same thing will just keep happening over and over but then agian i dont want to be mean to him because i still care about him a lot, even tho i def should not. damn,. i kinda hate this, i cant be mean to people and although im very happy with my life right now i stil feel some need to talk to him occasionally. ughhhh

sooo other than that tonight way great. i had tons of fun at jons and just hanging out with everyone and it was just pretty damn cool. sketchy a little, or maybe a lot at times lol, but still lots of funn.

thats it for now, bed time. <33

mood::

confused

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